Veteran of the cola wars
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Below are the 16 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Arachane" journal:
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11:28 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/5002249/580943) [Link] |
For those of you who work over the phone a lot...
Worst Job Ever (embedded .wmv, strong language warning)
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08:59 am
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That's no moon...
Cassini finds the deathstar
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06:18 am
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If you build it, they will come...
Kaaaneeeedaaaaa!
Now where do I get the stickers and such for it?
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11:30 am
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Low miles, never ridden in the rain....
Yeah right. Put down about fifty backroad miles today in a downpour. Stood and regarded a llama farm in the rain for a bit. Discovered a little diner in the middle of nowhere that makes a mean omlette, and discussed the finer points of a properly crowned roadway with Jerry, who apparently does such things. All in all, a pretty good day, and it's not even noon yet.
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08:56 am
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Because everyone seems to be doing it.
Obviously I haven't been trying hard enough lately. Plans for the summer: Abandon heterosexuality, and fuck a priest.
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09:49 am
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Qotd
The universe doesn't have laws.
It has habits.
And habits can be broken.
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08:10 am
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Herm...
Hey, this ship's pretty nice now that all the rats have left.
Current Mood: Sinking
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03:31 am
[Link] | To hell with flies, we gonna catch us a plane :)
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05:04 pm
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Limited time offer! Act now!
Yes, a rant about spam. How original, I know. Bear with me.
What I have here is a once in a lifetime opportunity to own a commemorative watch, which features small extra dials frozen at the exact time of each major event on 9/11/01. They're even marked, "tower 1", "tower 2", "pentagon", etc. I pondered this for a few minutes. Why, I thought, would a person even *consider* wearing one of these? It seems to me many people strongly desire to cling to the trauma of it all. Conclusion: People aren't getting enough trauma.
I see an opportunity here, a way to fill the needs of the people. I see aninterestinglife.com. For a small yearly fee we will, at random times, inflict trauma upon your life. Burn down the garage at 4am, send threatening letters, mug, stalk, etc. Generally making sure you always have something to be Deeply Concerned about.
I'm writing up the mission statement right now. Who's with me?
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05:22 pm
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That didn't just happen, did it?
Ok, so I wake up and read the news, and various ljs. A lot of it seems to be about various government attacks on our freedom. Then on to surf a couple of gun boards. Many people stockpiling weapons and ammo and such, preparing for the oncoming struggle. (I won't go into my "Billy Bob and his AR vs. the freaking military" rant here) So after all this, the raccoon under the house wanders by....with a water pistol in his mouth. The fucking *raccoon* is stockpiling arms. I'm just boggled.
And yes, for those of you wondering, this raccoon *is* my only friend in olympia. Oly sucks.
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04:50 am
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Born to lurk
Two of them lurked in the ruined graveyard. Two shadowy figures, one hunched and
squat, the other lean and menacing, both of them Olympic-grade lurkers. If Bruce
Springsteen had ever recorded 'Born to Lurk', these two would have been on the
album cover. They had been lurking in the fog for an hour now, but they had been
pacing themselves and could lurk for the rest of the night if necessary, with
still enough sullen menace left for a final burst of lurking around dawn.
- Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
Occasionally I feel like this could apply to me, but that's not what I'm posting
about tonight.
I've just read that Terry Gilliam will be directing the movie.
Due to come out sometime in 2003. Made my night. :)
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07:05 am
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Ladies and gentlemen of the livejournal
Use Thermal Paste.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, thermal paste would be it.
The long-term benefits of thermal paste have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my
own retarded experience. I will dispense this crap now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your computer. Oh, never mind. You will
not understand the power and beauty of your computer until they've
been stolen by the hamburgler.
But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of you rig
and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay
before you and how fabulous it really looked.
Don't worry about the lj. Or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by eating mice.
The real troubles in your posts are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried mind, the kind that headshot you at 4 p.m. on
some idle Tuesday in counterstrike.
Do one person every day that scares you.
Slang.
Don't be reckless with other people's hardware. Don't put up with people
who are reckless with yours.
Eat kids.
Don't waste your time on joy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind, and sometimes you’re fucking screwed.
The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yo mamma.
Forget compliments you receive. Remember the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, fuck you.
Burn your old love letters. Throw away your old mouse pads.
Scratch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your desktop.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their desktops. Some of the most interesting
40-year-olds I know can’t spell desktop.
Get plenty of carbon. Be kind to your wang. You'll miss it when
it’s gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll explode,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll die at 40, maybe you'll be a lame shit for the rest of your life.
Whatever you do,
don't fap too much, or mutilate yourself either. Your
choices are half stupid. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your monitor. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of
what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever
own.
Kill goats, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the warnings, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel horny.
Get to know your parents so you can blackmail them. You never know when they'll be gone for
good. But you can hope. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and
the people most likely to screw you in the future.
Understand that pets will come and go, but precious little you
should hold on to tightly.
Work hard to dress like Joe Satriani, because the older you get, the more you need to be cool.
Live in Silicon Valley once, but leave before it makes you a fucking prick. Live in
New York once, but leave before it makes you a fucking prick.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Users suck. Rigs will crash.
You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that
when you were young, hoes were cheep, politicians were hoes
and children cooked faster.
Respect your knife.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Insist. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll have a hen that shits diamonds, But you never know when
either one might run away.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look
like Dwight Yokem's.
Be careful whose advice you buy, because it always sucks anyhow. But be patient with those who
supply it, as it’s funny. Advice is a form of addiction. Dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the can, wiping it off, painting over the shit and feeding it to you.
But trust me on the thermal paste.
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09:05 am
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Why do I read the news when I'm trying to relax?
NEWSCASTLE, Wash. - A King County deputy has died after being shot Saturday afternoon in this suburban area south of Bellevue, Washington Saturday night.
King County Police spokesman Greg Dymerski said the shooting occurred after an officer responded to a report of a naked man disturbing traffic at 7300 Coal Creek Parkway shortly after 5 p.m.
According to one witness a naked black male was blocking traffic in the street. The man reportedly was trying to board a metro bus, but the bus driver refused to open the door.
The witness said a King County deputy arrived at the scene and tried to get the man out of the street. The man would not get out of the street, so the officer pepper sprayed him. The suspect reportedly ran through the pepper spray, wrestled with officer, and somehow got the officer's gun.
Dymerski confirmed that at one point during a struggle, the officer used pepper spray to try and stop the suspect. The deputy was then shot and died at the scene.
Several witnesses reported seeing the gunman stand above the officer and fired several shots directly at him. Chaos ensued with people running everywhere while the gunman ran into his apartment complex.
An adult male suspect was taken into custody about an hour later at the nearby apartment building, Dymerski said. The suspect is being held on investigation of murder.
Television reports said the officer was an eight-year veteran who had a wife and 18-year-old daughter.
Police shut down parts of Coal Creek Parkway, a busy arterial through the suburban area, for the investigation Saturday night.
No further details were immediately available.
( Rant )
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08:34 am
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Raccoons wisdom for the day:
You are taking things far too seriously.
There's a raccoon that's been living under the house for a while now, occasionally he wanders up on the porch to ask for dog food. Occasionally I think he simply wants company, he simply sits and watches me type and ignores the snacks entirely. In any case, we spend a lot of time watching each other through the glass.
This morning he drug a rather chewed up nerf football onto the porch, dropped it in front of the door, gave me a rather pointed stare, and wandered back into the trees. I can't help but feel there's a message in there somewhere.
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08:28 am
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Heh, go figure.
| I Am Ananse the Spider | Ananse the Spider of African folklore is both wise and foolish in the best tradition of tricksters. If you're like Ananse, you're clever and like to be thought well of, but sometimes you outsmart yourself. You're always trying to figure the best angle and you're intelligent and creative, but you have a crude streak. Still, you like to show off your knowledge and that makes you a good teacher.. |
Which Trickster are you?
Take the Trickster Test at www.isleofdreams.net
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05:15 am
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Herm...
Looks like this will require much tinkering with before I like it. But I'm finally here. Wheee...
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